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Idiot Letter: Dear Krups

Guten Morgen Herr Krups (or whoever is running the show these days),

I find myself writing to you with a heavy heart. A close member of our family, our Krups Coffee Pot, passed away abruptly this morning. He was a loyal friend and servant for nearly 15 years in our household and finding a suitable replacement will not be easy. Indeed, I do not envy the next generation that must fill his shoes (or is it “fill his coffee filter”?).

In honor of the long career our friend served, I request that Krups seeks, from Prime Minister Armin Laschet, to award him the “Order of Merit of North Rhine-Westphalia”, his ancestral home.

Additionally, I request that your office(s) hold a minute of silence in his honor.



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